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- I remember very well how I shot on this card. 

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I remember everything very well.

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It must be something 36th.


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In the center is my beloved grandmother Zelinda Anselmovna.

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This is me, but, in general, I can not say anything.

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My memories start much later. 

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This is me with my guys from my group at the Faculty of Philosophy of Moscow University.

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But I don't want to say who. I don't want to remember him.

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I remember this very well.

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This is the Institute of Oriental Studies of the Academy of Sciences.

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On the right, I am holding a glass of wine in my hand. I was still drinking wine then.

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Soon I stopped drinking wine for the rest of my life. Only vodka. 

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And this, in my opinion, is simply London.

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On the right is my old friend Tudor Parfitt. 

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No. I can't say enough about this card. 

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Yeah, besides, I'm not sure if I'm on it.


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I can not tell: Here I am - a person who, 

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with your kind permission, is called Pyatigorsky. Funny!  

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Who knows? This is where the questions begin.  

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Why is he giving a lecture like this, and not just stand quietly on the pulpit and say:

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"So, now we find out...blah blah..Point!"?

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What does he want? Rushing back and forth. And what is his purpose?

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After all, you should have asked me immediately:

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"And who can know

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what he is doing at the same time 

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with this gesticulation (as I am when I tell you)? Yes?

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Or maybe he wants to strengthen the account, please the audience, smack all sorts of nonsense, 


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attract attention with gestures? Yes? That's how we caught him." 


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- They told me over the phone that they were preparing a film about you.


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- Well, yes! Well, yes! But they want...

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They want to talk to my old friends.

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- About you?
- About me and about life. 
- And about life? 

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- Well, yes!
- But what is life?
- Well, then maybe we could start with this.

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- His microphone is bad.  

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- Fast. And not a single extra word, not a single extra look.

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- Well, everything, everything, everything. Calm down.

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- Yes, these are not aunts but ants. 

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-  That is the question! 

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- Live or philosophize? - this is for me a matter of physiology and death.  

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- The philosopher is afraid of death, like any other person,   

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but the fullness of his philosophizing is possible only with the inclusion of death in it,  

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which, of course, is the most important thing in the philosopher's thinking about life - life.

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- What does it mean to "philosophize"?  

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- Think about whatever you want, while constantly thinking about your thinking.

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More than think about what you want, think about your thinking about what you want.

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But this is only my own subjective understanding of the philosopher as applied to one person - myself.

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Here, one of my friends, also an old one, told me:

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"You're all lying! It's more important for you to live than to philosophize." 

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I said, "But, you see, we've only just begun to think.

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And then a lot can happen. 

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Or maybe it happens in 99% of cases that nothing will happen".

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And we finish the film today. So. 

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- No. Anyway, the last time.  

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- This is strange.

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- No. No.

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-Yes. But here the last Zaltsman died, Alyosha told me about, a year ago.

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Or the last Madame Salzman. Dr. Saltzman... 

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...and his wife, the famous Madame Salzmann, died many years after old Salzmann.

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But a year ago, Alyosha said, the last Zaltsman died.

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No. I examined everything: there is not a single Salzman.

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But are we done here? Yes?

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But I really need... 

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But I really like it! 


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- So. Listen to you. Ask questions. Fast. 

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Philosophy cannot have its own subject. She can have anything as her subject.

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But this "whatever" is a matter of choice. 

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After all, philosophy, like thinking, is far from indifferent ...

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Philosophy has no subject of its own, but it is far from being indifferent

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to the subject it deals with. On the contrary, if a philosopher, having chosen a subject,

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is indifferent to it, then nothing happens. 

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It is not interesting. This for the philosopher will always, to some extent,

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be a matter of life and death, even if there is no longer a life and death situation.  

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To become a philosopher, or even is becoming one, can only be one who,  

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in some way, is a philosopher. 

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A philosopher can become a philosopher only in some field.

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But, in order to become a philosopher in this field, he must already enter this field as a philosopher.

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That is, some work should already be done. 

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- What are you doing?
- What? Everyone. 

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Conversations, above all, conversations with friends.  

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First of all, conversations. 

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- Why are they filming us from behind? Can you tell me?

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- Listen, these are secrets, the secrets of cinema. 

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Luda asked: "Why are they filming us from the back?"

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And I answer: "And this is such an erotic super-task for them."

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- ...Well, here's something that can be said to be worth living for.
- Yes. 

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- I try to avoid this word, but I could not help but say it - happiness.
- Yes. 

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- The thing is, it's just, like... Look, step back. When I can't see, I can't speak at all. 
- What can't you?
- I don't talk much through you with Uldis. 

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- So I'll sit down now.
- Well.

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- I understand your question. Yes. 

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Everything he says, everything he does, 

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right down to how he gets up, how he walks,

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I don't know how he laughs and so on, 

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what he says - this is some kind of energy that lives.

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Having met Pyatigorsky, I repeat, this absolutely  

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applies to every person he met, naturally.  

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That is, roughly speaking, they have to live with it,

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put up with the fact that they have already met him

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and that everything can no longer be the way it was before they met him.

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A very strange thing is happening. A person who does not seem to live in this reality at all, 

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to put it very roughly (that is, he does not fit in with it, 

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he does not play along with it, that is, he does not at all take into account the laws of the genre of the life in which we are),

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but strange Thus, this is indeed the case. Reality has to adjust to him 

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(I can't explain it otherwise) and adapt to him. 

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- Do you love Sasha?
- Yes. Yes.

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I have nothing more to say here. Yes. 

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- Yes Sasha? Did I say something wrong?
- No. I didn't listen to everything...

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- It is obvious.
- No. I didn't hear everything, I listened to everything. 

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No. I, in general, with everything that I heard, 

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with everything that I hear, I absolutely agree.

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Another thing is that I could add something there.

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It's not interesting anymore, in this case, because you're talking.

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But I agree. Absolutely. 

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- Can you eat now? 

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We were allowed to eat. Filmed continuously. 

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And said, "It's simple, old guy. Good Jews 

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go to Israel, and bad Jews go to America."  

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And I say: “I’m really bad.  

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I want to go to England." In addition, he said  

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 (and I hesitated here): "You know, today 

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 we will have a Jewish concert of Russian emigrants."  

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I, of course, said, "Oh! That's wonderful." And I decided that...

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But I have to, I have to go to the concert. 

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And I remember such an impudent, vulgar Odessa-Nikolaev 

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connotation, like: "mom, take me away from the battlefield",

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very much like a foxtrot, in general, looks like.  

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And then I thought, I thought, "Fuck! Bad music."

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I can know some things about myself that only I know.

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Well, for example, what I know about myself that no one can know

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is the continuous, lifelong obscurity for me of my own thinking.

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If I can somehow cope with the language, then 

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no - ambiguity, some kind of cloudiness. 

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And one has not so much to think as to try 

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to carry out some kind of hopeless clearing, cleansing. 

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And so it is, well, not interesting. 

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Well, a Jew, damn it, so a Jew. It happened, according to Volkinstein, so the bones fell out.

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Well, damn, does a person have to creep with his body? 

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The way I am, the way I am. Well, about what? It's not interesting!

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There are so many amazing things in the world! 

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Why do this rubbish?


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- For the first time I saw this architecture...  

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I first saw this architecture when I was 15 years old. 

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She shocked me. She shocked me...  

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I was 15 years old. I just returned from the evacuation 

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and saw. They were just starting to build. 

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I then felt the great pretentiousness of this architecture,  

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because in it absolute power and comfort were merged, 

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as if in a phenomenal way.

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However, it's not about you. That's another question.

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Real people will live there and  


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they will be fine there. But all this is within the real power. 

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Everything! 4 minutes.  

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- You are asking this question, of course, in vain. The philosopher is not for benefit. This must be understood.

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- And for what?
- And philosophers in order to have philosophizing.

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Alexander Moiseevich Pyatigorsky is a unique character in the intellectual history of thought,

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an interlocutor of Merab Mamardashvili, a philosopher and writer. 

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Born in 1929 in Russia. Emigrated from the Soviet Union in 1974.

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After that, he lectured at the University of London 

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on ancient Indian philosophy and the terminology of religion.

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We choose our own life and our own thinking,

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or not thinking, or death.

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- So. I'm all ears, mon cher.

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- A person who understands that life is suffering, 

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who really understands, and not like a parrot repeating this formulation. 

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Only a person with a radically altered consciousness can understand 

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that life is suffering. In other words, in fact,  

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how can a person with a radically altered consciousness understand anything at all? 

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- Damn, when is this going to end? Isn't it a phone? 

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- I...
- They came?
- We have been working for a long time. We left the kitchen because the baby is being fed there. 
- We couldn't before because we had things to do. We needed to...

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- Were the failures serious?
- There were no serious ones. But there was a lot to be done.
- But there were no failures?

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But, you know, when the veterans came,  

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I couldn't open the door for them.
- Because it was on lockdown.

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- Do you need me right now? 

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But this is good! It's nice to be unnecessary sometimes.  

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- The main thing would be not to resist. 

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And so, I think that those who do not resist  

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went the furthest. 

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That is, they did not create 

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that terrible field of false activity that destroys everything. 

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I was saved here by my innate phenomenal laziness and slovenliness. 

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I would even say that of the talented people around me, the active ones were the first to die.

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Is it clear? Yes?  

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Here I'm just quite sharply against this Jewish-German bastard Sigmund Freud,

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who, as you know, considered drunkenness 

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one of the most typical manifestations of repressed homosexuality. 

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But this man had so little in his intellectual-theoretical pocket!

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Here he is pulling it out. Yeah. I know. I know... Yes.

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It seems to me, although I cannot, of course, compete with this person,   

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I think that this is, as it were,  

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drunkenness for me - this is such a hysterical reaction 

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to the externalization own activity, not constant, not even successful, but not successful.

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That is, none of them asked themselves:

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"What are you, snout, externalizing her now? Freeze. Wait." 

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- Listen, I don't understand anything here. 

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And why was it at all?  

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No. Do not touch. He makes some weird fucking sounds.  

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Now. Just a second. I'm completely loss

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- This was the first text where a person (Oh! sorry, God) said:  

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"Oh, the bravest of warriors!" - to Arjuna.

00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:04.700
Old guy, I'm glad to see you.

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"О, храбрейший из воинов! Главное - любой ценой не остаться самим собой".

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Shankara wrote wonderfully:  

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"We are all doing someone else's business, speaking someone else's language, thinking someone else's thoughts." 

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"First, you have to completely reject yourself.

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But how can you reject something that isn't there?

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You first become yourself to the fullest,

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and then throw it away.. 

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And if you don't, then throw away nothing.

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And there are those who complain about themselves.

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And this is even worse, 

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O Lord of the invincible Archers,  

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because in self-pity,   

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you do not see that absolute reality  

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that you are, and which cannot be changed,  

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and which does not need to be protected, defended, because it is,  

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was and will remain by what it is." 

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I don't even know how it opens. 

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Boys, so let's go and smoke a cigarette... 

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- Are we leaving now? 
- Yes, sure.
- Is Luda not there?
- Now she will come.

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Stop and think about it

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in such a way that this thinking ends 

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with the end of this lousy worthless cosmos

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and continues after its next death. 

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It is not excluded even that in a sense of humor, in the ability to laugh. 

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Interesting. He is an interesting thinker. That's it! 

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Euthanasia, for example. Or freezing . 

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What is it called? Hibernation, complete suspended animation.  

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And there you will be awakened in three hundred years.  

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So why wake up such an idiots in 300 years? He will be like this again.  

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Who knows what might happen during that time?

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One woman told me (whom I even loved at one time):

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"And how wonderful it is to die in one second, happy, 

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not realizing that you are dying." Like this! Disappear for yourself. 


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And I tried (I got irritated, this is not good) to explain to her:

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"Then it will not be death, the devil knows what. Some kind of nonsense."

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To die without realizing - for me there is nothing more terrible and more terrible than this thought.

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Die without realizing. 

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In a sense, I think that when a person does not think at all,  

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then he is dead to himself. 

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And others may not notice this  

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and will, fools, think that he is alive.  

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Do you know this story, but is it not the great story

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by Anatoly Franz about Guido Cavalcanti? 

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Such a slightly scary story.

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Well, there is a meeting of Guido on the hunt with some count or at the hunt 

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"You have begun to shun society, Guido," said the Count. 

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He says, "Yes. But I don't like talking to the dead."

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He says: "How? Why? Look around, what beautiful girls, 

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how wonderful the wine is, how magnificent the hunt is.

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Why are you calling us dead?"

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"Потому что те, кто не знает и не думает, они трупы".

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The count got angry and said: “How so?

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I know how to trim a falcon,

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I know how to drive a boar.   

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I know how to lay a woman on the side of the road in a minute. 

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I know an abyss of things, Guido. I think you're asking too much of us."

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Guido shrugged his shoulders and said: 

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"Well, what can I do? I can't demand too much from corpses."  

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- I never considered my father a genius. 


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He, in my opinion, has no gaps in his life.

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He is, somehow, a finished, finished man.

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- He, perhaps, refers to those unfortunate people

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who are important to others not for what they have devoted their lives to.

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Perhaps he considers himself an orientalist. 

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I allow this possibility. But for us Pyatigorsky, first of all, it is "It"!

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- Of course, I don’t want to say that my father is now living in vain,

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but, in my opinion, he has nothing left,  

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as if there were no more left of what he should do.

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As the American Mafia says "Made Man". 


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- It is not about knowledge that anyone can read in any pamphlet,

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but it is about (this is not about the knowledge of one who has read the Bhagavad Gita)  

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the actual knowledge of the incarnate 

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who knows his incarnation and previous incarnations.  

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This is a very special knowledge, which is extremely rare   

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and is one of the symptoms of the end of incarnations.  

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- Around Russell Square is impossible. 
- No. 
- You see. So we need to come up with some other plan.


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- Because no emotional state of a person, 

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for any other living being, changes his ontological statute,


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neither despair, like Arjuna's, nor joy, nor anger, nor fun.

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The ontological status cannot change psychologically.

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There is only one factor that changes the ontological status of a living being. This factor is knowledge.


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You do not need to be afraid, or rejoice,   

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or despair, or triumph. 

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Just do what is already predetermined in your higher knowledge.

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Because the one who should be killed by you today

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will be killed by you today. 

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This decision does not exist, and no one can change it.

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- Well, damn, I think it's all right.

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- I don't even remember, sorry, that Karl Marx was buried in the basement of a neighboring house. 

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Or maybe it wasn't me.

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And there was also one such boy, obviously defective,   

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whom they even wanted to expel and transfer to some kind of kindergarten for mentally handicapped children,

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who was completely obsessed (maybe I got infected then) on marmalade,

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which he hid in felt boots.   

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And then his mom and dad were informed that the boy was obviously mentally handicapped.  

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Every hare understands what such people can lead the country to.  

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- Or, as one of my late friends said, much older than me, 

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still very young, he said: "Well, gentlemen, let's put on the tailcoat of misfortune."

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- Tell me, do you need to prepare for death? 

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- I think I need to, but I don't want to. 

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I don't like this necessary work.

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I know it's necessary.  

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Well, why lie if I don't want to. 


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- You cannot contemplate something that you are afraid of.

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But fear is necessary in order to overcome it and arouse this contemplation.

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Потому что мы простые люди. Мы как бы... Ну, что? 

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After all, if nothing is happening to us, then what the hell is even thinking?

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We don't think anything. Yes? 

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Death is the necessary objective focus of the concentration of thinking,  

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which thinking is afraid of, and to which it is drawn to realize itself. 

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Hope that satisfied your curiosity? 

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Finished topic! No, not in life, mon cher. 

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- Swan Lake, huh? I get confused all the time. Is it ballet?  

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I think it's that not psychology, basically,

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that it's some other somewhere. 

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Pyotr Ilyich, of course. But what? What ballet?

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Well, dear, Swan Lake? Nutcracker. Nutcracker!!